Seeking the Future, One Day at a Time

The Next Step

I just finished my second term at school and I’m back home for a week, stress free… actually, maybe not stress free.

I think. I think a lot.. and it’s nights like this when I think the most. I don’t like it, but I can’t help it so I just do it anyway. I am currently sitting in my room, it’s almost 1:30, lights are off, headphones are on. I’m listening to Sigur Ros’ Untitled (I highly recommend it if you haven’t listened to it), and I’m thinking. I don’t really want to talk about my thoughts tonight because I don’t think that continuously blogging about the same thing will magically make it go away, in fact I think that by blogging about it is fueling it, keeping it alive, making me hang on to it in my mind. So I won’t talk about her tonight.

In other news, I watched the move Drive last night and loved it! The movie was great and the soundtrack was awesome as well. Tonight, I saw Hugo with my mom. Yes, I’m a freshman guy in college and I went to see a PG movie with my mother. :) I’m glad we got to spend some time together. Last night, she went to see Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, which makes me jealous because I really want to see that movie. :/ Maybe I’ll see it soon.

Also, I had dinner here last night with one of my good friends and we spent some time catching up/talking about stuff/trying to find ways to make me more normal lol ;) This past afternoon, I had coffee with another good friend here and we talked about similar things haha.. I’ll definitely hang with both of them again next week before I return to school.

Here’s to me hopefully getting out more, finding some fun, and enjoying life.

A Weekend to Remember

It’s official. I am now a brother in Pi Kappa Alpha!! I think I have yet to comprehend the magnitude to everything that happened this past weekend. Everything seems like a blur now that it’s all over. I know that I will remember one evening for the rest of my life, but I cannot go into detail as to what occurred then. 

However, I can tell you about the following night. I went to our Pike banquet in Indianapolis, at the dolphin dome in the zoo to be exact. One may think that this is a very interesting choice of location to hold such a banquet, and it is.. I did enjoy most of it though. Well, I enjoyed some of it.. Ok I’m still actually piecing everything together haha..

My date for the banquet was wonderful! I mean, I loved spending the evening with her, even though we just stood near the dolphin dome for the most of the night. You probably can’t tell what my personality and habits are like from the information that I’ve typed on here the past couple of months, but I can try to inform you of myself a bit. I am generally a reserved person. I’m not that outgoing but I’m pretty welcoming and friendly. Probably the biggest aspect of my personality and overall being is that I’m very sentimental. I’m aware that most guys aren’t that sentimental about things, I never though of myself as being too sentimental but after meeting this girl about a month ago, I realized how sentimental I really am. I love complimenting someone I like on how good they look, I love sending those long texts about how happy they make me, I love snuggling on a couch while watching a movie with them, I love holding their hand on occasion while walking down the street, I love just talking about what’s going on in our lives.. Well, this girl is probably the least sentimental person I have ever met. She’s very sarcastic and self aware so when I compliment her on how good she looks, I usually receive a response of “I know.” She brushes off the texts I send about how happy I am when talking to her as if she never saw them. She doesn’t like to talk about sentimental things in general, really. However, she does like snuggling on the couch haha. I can send her texts for hours and only receive one or two brief texts every now and then in return. She drove me back from the banquet on Saturday and I massaged her neck and back for an hour and a half, all the while listening to music and not talking. When we arrived at the Pike house, she dropped me off without saying a word. 

Now, at this point you’re probably thinking that this girl is awful and I shouldn’t waste my time focusing on her so much. Yet there is this idea in my mind that won’t allow me to let go, an idea that keeps me attracted to her. I can’t figure out what this idea is and I really have no idea why i still devote so much time to communicating with her. I know she likes me, she definitely does. We’re so different but I still put up with all of the stuff she throws at me. 

I guess advice is always appreciated so if you have an opinion, please share it with me!! I really do like this girl and I’m going to give her another chance. Maybe it’s a bad idea, but I’m in college now. I’ve been sheltered all throughout high school and I never even realized it. It’s time to live and learn from my mistakes, but most importantly have the time of my life. Let the fun begin!

Forget regret or life is yours to miss.

Love,

-B